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Letter from a concerned reader by J. Mathrubootham

Respected Madam/Sir,

Whether sometimes you are getting feeling that whole India country is trying to irritate you nonstop?

You are minding your own business and doing daily things and just like that living life when suddenly India will jump out like M.N. Nambiar in Ayirathil Oruvan, do one laughter, and destroy everything. Instead of Satyameva Jayate and all what Ashoka should have put on the pillar? Maybe put something like ‘You are enjoying now, just wait for 10 minutes.’

Forty years ago or something which branch I was working? Maybe Tiruppur? Who is remembering such old stories. I was junior accountant.

Cashier came and said, Mathrubootham are you hearing news about cricket World Cup in London? I said, no, if I want to wear white dress and stand whole day in the sun without doing anything I would have become traffic police. He said, hahaha stupid man India is going to win. I said what nonsense, typical Indian thinking. He said, ok shall we put bet. I said, I will put hundred rupees bet India will not win World Cup. He said, done.

Madam/ Sir, was there any need for bet? Never. Those days for hundred rupees you can buy one flat in Coimbatore. Just like that I said some nonsense. And what country of India is doing? Immediately it is going and winning the World Cup and my hundred rupees is gone. Even today when I think about that hundred rupees, pain is coming. Those days duplicate note also very difficult to obtain.

Whether this annoying habit has stopped? Never. India is still trying to irritate Mr. Mathrubootham. Fifteen minutes before putting petrol in car petrol price will go up. Ten minutes after filing income tax returns after rushing like anything they will put new deadline. Book one train ticket and what will happen? Mrs. Mathrubootham will get berth, but I will move from RAC 45 to RAC 17 to RAC 2 and finally in station TT will say you are still RAC 2, sit on the floor.

Who is bigger enemy of India? Pakistan or Mathrubootham?

All the youngsters in family WhatsApp group are doing dance item. So Mrs. Mathrubootham said, we will also make one video like this. I saw the video and said, “Kamalam ithellam thevaiyya? Let young peoples act like uncultured buffoons. Why we also have to do?”

She said, old man this is latest trend. If we put on internet people will laugh and laugh like anything. I said, no. She said, please. I said, no. She said, please. I said, no. She said, please but with special look on face that is danger. I said, ok. So for two-three weeks Mrs. Mathrubootham and myself are practising one little dance type item.

Madam/ Sir, we are practising like anything. Idea is simple. Mrs. Mathrubootham is wearing sari and I am wearing shirt and pant and we are dancing. Then suddenly she is wearing shirt and pant and I am wearing sari. We practised and practised like anything. I don’t know how these young people are doing this every day non-stop?

Finally few days ago perfect video is done. Perfect means superb. We showed to some family members and they said, it is superhit attahaasam. Internet will enjoy like anything. So I said, Kamalam ok you put it on Tiktok immediately, no more time wasting.

Two minutes later Indian government is banning Tiktok forever.

Bloody nonsense, if you want to fight, India can fight with Nepal or Bangladesh or China no? Why you are fighting with Mathrubootham family? Fed up.

Yours in exasperation,

J. Mathrubootham

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